That’s sort of all there is to it. It’s a perfect album. If I want to listen to it but it’s too perfect in that moment I’ll listen to The Idler Wheel…
Toilet Thoughts (a blog for Liza)
I've behaved a bit oddly.
Thought experiment: let's say that back in November/December I went on three (very fun) dates with somebody, Y, with whom I am ultimately not compatible. We did have a fun, flirtatious thing going on. Now let's say over the holidays we texted only a little and that I didn't respond but did have intentions to but then as more time went on, the less I realistically was going to get around to it and they never texted me again, either. Now let's say that, this week, I was on my way to my first date with T and it was at a cafe near Y's apartment and I thought to myself "oh wouldn't it be so funny if I ran into Y on my way to a first date?" and then didn't and then let's say that T and I went for a walk after we left the cafe and as we were walking along the canal we came up behind this couple and that when we were just barely behind them I heard one of the people speak and it was Y, who has a very distinct voice, and I went into a very mild state of fight or flight and told T "let's turn here" and we crossed over the street and as we did that Y turned and may or may not have seen me (actually maybe, I'm not just being coy in expressing it in this way) and now I still feel a little guilty and weird.
In our last conversation, Y and I were talking about our dogs, both of whom are kind of old and since then my dog passed and I felt the urge to text them about it when it happened. But what good does that do? Also, isn't it a bit weird to text somebody about your dead dog after three dates? Oh well. It's not like I did it, anyway.
I have a second date with T tomorrow. Well, now it's technically today now. It's a quarter past midnight.
Sweet dreams!
New Year's Resolutions
I'll admit it... I'm a big resolution gal. I love them! I can't get enough of them! I think they're a fun thing to do! I never do them with the expectation that I'll be perfect, instead I plan things that might be a bit out of reach and that I'll be happy if I even only halfway achieve them. They're a start. A jumping off point.
I've been having a bit of trouble figuring out what I'm going to choose to be this year's resolution(s). There's a page in my brain notebook with a brainstorm of things I could choose, but some of it reads off more as a to do list. I like resolutions that are specific and continuous, but I think this year might be a year for trying out a new format.
In 2024 I, controversially, didn't have any resolutions. It felt like I didn't need them because I was already moving halfway around the world and I didn't want to add to the stress of that by creating resolutions before I even got settled here and figured out who I am in Berlin and what things I do here. Now that I have some idea of that, I can make resolutions for the coming year.
On my brainstormed list are:
- taking art classes/making art
- horticulture learning
- (community) garden volunteering
- make some sort of a project? I don't know?
- getting out into nature
- cooking more/more creatively
- keep up art blog, post more so it's a living portfolio
- woodworking course
- bike repair
- end the year with €10k in savings
- produce some sort of body of work
- go to two full blues dancing festivals
- consistently do something for my back (physical therapy, pilates, yoga)
- do a self-organized bikepacking trip
- get involved w/ a community garden!
- make sauerkraut (+ pickle more stuff)
- rocky horror shadow cast?
- read more German books
Some common themes here. Food, art, community garden, nature. Doing more of the things I love!
I am going to try to take life a bit more slowly and not feel like I need to be doing everything all the time, filling my days to the brim with activity. I am going to try to be on social media less and reading and making art more. I am going to learn more about bikes so I can feel more independent. I am going to take courses that interest me! I've already begun with a puppet building workshop and am excited for what else I can find to do! I will try to post again when I decide what to make of this brainstormed list, but until then... see ya!
After a week of being all by my lonesome, I am being social again!
Hmmmm life can be funny, can't it?
Today, a letter I wrote to the ex girlfriend of a former flame of mine was returned to me, undeliverable. There's something sort of poetic about that, isn't there?
I recently had a phone call with a former Big Crush that was two or three hours long. Similar vein.
(The ex girlfriend of the former flame and I are sort of loosely online friends, I've sent postcards to her before... realized that without context it sounded a bit weird.)
If your art is experimental, does that make me your test subject?
Come, watch some YouTube videos with me.
For Zach: when he said cathedrals everywhere, he really meant EVERYWHERE.
Sometimes I can’t listen to Fetch The Bolt Cutters because it’s too perfect
That’s sort of all there is to it. It’s a perfect album. If I want to listen to it but it’s too perfect in that moment I’ll listen to The Id...
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It was good in that I had fun and enjoyed the conversation, but I just do not see it going anywhere romantically. He was too meek. It was th...
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I went to a multi-disciplinary experimental performance art thing last night with two relatively new friends of mine (though I suppose all m...