I have been loved so well all my life

Maybe if I put this out into the world I can stop thinking about it so damn much. 

I recently stepped outside of my comfort zone and took a chance and dated a friend of mine (something I generally avoid doing at all costs, but I really thought it could work out this time... it didn't) for a few months this summer. It was the most complicated and messy and frustrating relationship I've been in. I suppose I should follow that up by saying I haven't been in many relationships (I spent nearly three of the last six years in one relationship, then a while later five months in another), but that I have had plenty of little flings and have never felt so thoroughly exhausted, used, etc. by anybody before. But all that is not the point of this post. 

At the end of our whirlwind of a relationship, he told me he was afraid that everything he'd done to break my trust and to hurt me had ruined me forever. Ruined. This and a few other things, I'll spare you the details on those because they're far worse, I haven't been able to get out of my head. On the one hand, it's insulting because it feels like he wants to have me marked as his territory even after the fact, branded by pain. On the other hand it's insulting because I would never let me being "ruined" even be a possibility. I am far too resilient for that and it's insulting that he disregards that entirely. I do not feel stupid for having trusted him because I took the things he told me at face value and made the best decisions I could with what he showed me about himself. None of it is or was about me. I have been loved so well all my life by my friends and by my family and I have always known what it is to be cared for and supported. Anybody would have to do infinitely more harm than he has to destabilize me. 

That is not to say that I am not hurt by what he did. Of course I am and of course it will take me time to recover from it and it will take me time to trust somebody wholly again but I am not ruined and I can never be ruined. I have been heartbroken before in an all consuming way that this cannot hold a candle to and, though I hadn't been wronged then in the way I have now, that didn't ruin me so I know this can't either.